I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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