Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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