went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
