You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
