she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
