Don't you send me to vm
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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