I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
