sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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