Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
