I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
