but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
