he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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