My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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