She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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