Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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