Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
