Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
