I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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