you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
