yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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