This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
