OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Such a big mess for such a small penis
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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