Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
whose parrot is this?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
