My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
