its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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