no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
