If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
