I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
