Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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