yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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