Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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