The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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