PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
