I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she smelled like a LAN party
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
