remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
