am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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