2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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