I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
