Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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