Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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