Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
His nipple licking is glorious
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