i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Randomize
