I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Randomize
