if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
