you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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