Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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