It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize