In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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