I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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