It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
