Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
