and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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