Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
