Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
